Now

Now is still, quiet, grounded, boundaried

By the lack of movement

That could change anything or

Everything if I choose to make contact

With something or somebody

Including thoughts, memories , dreams.

Nothing is empty in the present

The air tingles my skin

Fills my ears with titinus

That rises to my head

And spreads a chill

Down my spine

The night is getting cold

Now that I pay attention

To the time for

It is late and 

Everybody sleeps but 

I am awake and alone.

I am not lonely

Just alert and far from

Fatigue, far from wanting to sleep

For I dream livelier dreams

Awake than asleep

And they are sweet.

Sleep is in the future

Now is wide awake

The cold dissipate

Transforms into heat

Engulfs my body in a sweat

I love it.

No thoughts to disturb me

Just quiet tranquility

A moment I could spare 

To reflect on the day or

Whatever, but now

Is good enough the way it is.

Time appears so still

Yet the clock ticks

Like a metronome

So that I may synch 

With life the way its is

Unpredictable yet peaceful.

Feelings start to stir

Deep inside my corps

My blood flows to my heart

And throught my torso

Runs through my limbs

Like a marathon.

I desire desire

Want to want

What cannot be vocalized

The silence breaks my flow

Yet I don’t want to give 

To what nobody knows.

Something is moving inside

Towards a direction I cannot describe

Perhaps someone else can put in words

What I am feeling

As the chill climbs up my back

To fill the silent gap with something.

Something is rather empty

Devoid of movement, of life

Now no longer works for me

Its too silent, too quiet

My heart beats for excitement 

My blood stirs for desire.

Desire to love and be loved

The way love fills up a room

And company is a pleasant

Moving energy between

Soul, spirit, mind and body

Now is not the time.

Now is time to work

To find a new beginning

To find a generous hope

That can be shared

And cultivated

With bright emotions.

My dreams are now aroused

My head is empty 

But my skin is alive

My breath is gentle

My mouth does not know

What it holds inside.

Like a river I flow

Into many streams I travel

Towards a sea that cannot be reached

From where I am sitting

For now is not the time

To be moving.

©Venus Easwaran Narayan

2016

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